Monday, December 10, 2007

Keep on the Sunny Side

Lately I have been spectacularly good at finding the negative in life.  I've turned into one of those annoying people who isn't really rude, but doesn't ever have anything positive to say.   It's getting to the point where I don't even recognize the positive any more.

I have so many great ideas about what I want my life to be like, yet all I really want to do is crawl into bed and sleep.  Forever.  Just sleep.  That sounds heavenly.  It is obvious that I am depressed, at least to some degree.  I'm not sad and unable to function; I'm just negative and 'blah'.  I continue going to work.  I occasionally get the kids something to eat.  I occasionally do a few dishes or sweep the floor.  I vacuum nearly every day and I put all the clean clothes away every week.  So see, I'm not completely non-functional.

Even my husband has mentioned this recently.  He has NEVER been the type of husband to tell me I'm depressed and do it in a jerky manner.  I'm not sure how to describe what I'm thinking of, but I've heard of husbands who do this.  So anyway, he's not like that, but he has gently suggested recently that I might consider maybe possibly going to a doctor to look into anti-depressants.  I was like "Why would I go to a doctor to 'look into' them?  They'll just prescribe them?!"  And he answered "yeah".  Oh.

I'm too deeply entrenched into the world of natural health to go to anti-depressants just yet.  I know what I need to do.  Exercise and eating better would make a world of difference for me.  I know this.  I've always known this.  Yet I still don't do it.  So will I start on my own?  Or is mine a situation where pharmaceuticals would help me get enough motivation to start, and then I could continue on my own?  It's something to think about for now.   

Also, apparently I'm supposed to be looking for the positive in things.  I have been practically bombarded by messages from every side about looking for the positive in life and being happy.  I'm reading a book called "Wake Up to a Happier Life."  Based on the title alone, it's obvious what kind of messages I'm getting from there.  Lessons at church are often about being grateful for what we do have and looking on the bright side of things.  A good friend gave me a Christmas card about me being a happy person.  I wondered where she got that idea, but it made me think about what my life would be like if I was really like that on the inside and the outside.  To seal the deal, today I got this quote by Bob Proctor in my inbox:

"Everything that happens in your life today will either appear negative or positive. Keep in mind whatever happens must have a positive side to it.

A large majority of the population seems to be mentally programmed to pay attention to the negative side of life and unfortunately, ignore the positive.

Make a decision right now that, regardless of what happens today, you are going to look for the positive aspect of what's happening. Remember... every cloud has a silver lining. Do this again tomorrow and the next day until it becomes a habit to see the positive in everything. You will feel better, you will be more productive, and you will have more friends."

So apparently I'm supposed to be positive and find joy.  I mentioned that last month, before NaBloPoMo.  Clearly I'm still not doing it, but I'm a little closer now.


Cathryn said...

In my experience, antidepressants can be extremely hard to get off of once you start. Email me if you're interested in more details, but I'd definitely suggest starting with the stuff you mentioned you know would help first. Which is exactly what I need to do!

(chandelle) said...

sigh. it's the exercise thing for me. i KNOW that if i just DO IT, i will feel better. it's the logistics that get to me. i consider anti-depressants too, but i'm too "natural" now, too. i'd have to be completely incapable of getting out of bed and obsessively plotting my death before i would seriously consider them...and even then, i'd probably just think, "hm, maybe eggs?" :D

Jordan said...

Ever think about cutting out sugar? My wife did that for a while and she says it worked wonders for her. Just thoughts from a random internet stranger here...

Heidi said...

Katie, I'm going through the same thing right now... I hate feeling so "blah"!!! I tell myself almost every morning to just snap out of it!

I'm with you girl... here, have my shoulder if I can have yours! ;)

(Jordan?!?!? How do you know Katie??? Okay, totally small world...)

Katie said...

Jordan -
Go back to the very beginning of this blog - FOUR years ago, I think it was? My very first (or 2nd?) post was about how I was going to stop eating sugar!!

Marly said...

Hey Katie, you could try going to therapy :) I have done it twice now and it really did help. I went to him saying I didn't want to go the antidepressant route, so we did lots of other things. I do a girls night out at least once a month. I get outside as much as possible and I'm also taking vitamin C and fish oil. Anyway, just a thought :)