Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Panic Time!

I have always wanted to be more feminine and beautiful, but there are some things making it really difficult for me:

1) I'm really lazy. 5 extra minutes of sleep or makeup? Sleep wins every time!

2) I have no fashion sense. I insist that I'm better at matching colors than my husband, but other than that, I just don't get it. The most attractive clothes I've owned have been picked out by my sister or husband. I wrote about this two years ago.

3) I'm REALLY cheap. Right now I have one pair of dress shoes. My mom thinks she bought them for me 3 years ago. I think it is in between 1 and 2 years ago. Either way, I've worn them nearly every day since, and they're trashed. Whoa! I just looked at the pictures in the link I referenced above, and I have the shoes on! So I guess I have had them at least two years. Sheesh.

4) Comfort is my paramount goal. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the look of high heels. But then I try them on, and I just can't do it. I cannot put myself through that torture. I browse at Zappo's and have saved pictures of the most gorgeous purple brushed leather heels on my computer, but I just can't get myself to actually suffer for beauty. You might have noticed that I had heels on in one of those pictures in the 2006 post. I would wear them to work and hobble in to the building. I would hang out at my desk all day and leave it only for emergencies (i.e., bathroom runs). Then I would have to pull myself up the stairs by the handrails. When I got home at night, I would take pictures of my poor red feet. For someone who has had 3 unmedicated childbirths (two of which were at home), I have a pretty low threshold for discomfort.

5) I rebel against societal expectations. Our culture's standard of beauty is so arbitrary. Here in the USA, it's sleek hair, makeup, a size 0 body, and high heels. In other cultures, it's lip plates, foot binding, or stretched necks. Who decides? I know that I have bought into our culture's idea of beauty. I'm trying to change that, but it's hard -- it's something ingrained into us from birth.

Wow, that was supposed to be a quick bullet-point list. Oops. Anyway, there was actually an entirely different point to this post. Namely, my sister is getting married the first weekend of November. Most of the time, I am fine with my bun/no-makeup/no-heels lifestyle, but I would like to look decent for the wedding (by US standards; no lip plates). My sister bought me a dress, and I actually think it will work OK. But what about the rest of the ensemble?! I need to figure out hair, makeup, and shoes.

Here is the dress, and yes, I don't know how to pose or smile:

Blue Matron of Honor dress

It looks way different on the model (no surprise).

This dress is perfect for my um, chest area. I will not even get into my struggles with bras. But the fact that the pretty neckline thing on this dress covers it all up is FABULOUS. Someday I hope to find a good bra that fits. Probably not happening since I need a 30G (depending on how long since I've nursed the baby).

I have worn my hair in a bun probably 80-90% of the time since early 2006. I no longer own a straightening iron, curling iron, or hairspray. Since I'm not the bride, I don't need to worry about a glamour-intense hairdo, but I do want to look non-frumpy. I'm thinking that I'll do my hair in a half-up of some variety, with the remainder curled -- either my natural curls, or steam-rollers, or curling iron curls. Then a few wisps around my face will make it look awesome. Although now that I think of it, if I do that, I can guarantee that my baby will suck on/eat them, leaving them looking scraggly and nasty.

Here is a picture of me with no makeup:

Me, looking super hot

When I was 14, I had my makeup professionally done. I think the colors complemented me well. I have never strayed from them in nearly 14 years of wearing makeup (I've worn it sporadically). As of yesterday, I had mascara, but that was it. The kids got into my eyeshadow, eyeliner, and lipstick and destroyed it. As I mentioned above, I cannot STAND spending money on stuff, especially something like makeup. I went for the high-quality stuff (haha) and bought a few things at WalMart today. I had two colors in mind for the lipstick -- nude and almost nude. I decided to be really bold and go for the 'almost nude'. Well, I tried it on at home, and it is Barbie doll pink! After a few minutes it brightened into a neon Barbie pink. In what galaxy is this 'nude'? $5 down the drain. I bought an eyebrow pencil, as my eyebrows are pretty much invisible. I think it might be OK. Maybe.

Shoes. Sigh. I'm going to have to wear heels of some sort. I hope I can find something nice with about 2" heels. If I get them now and wear them around the house, I think I might be able to stand them long enough to get pictures taken. If anyone knows of a place where I can get CHEAP dyeable shoes or clear shoes, let me know! By cheap, I mean $20 or less, dyed. Probably not happening, huh?

Has anyone made it this far? *chirp* *chirp* (That was the sound of crickets chirping. . . .)


Marly said...

I think your curls are awesome as is! I am no help in the make-up department because I use the same colors I've used since high school.
Good luck with the shoe hunting. I really think there have been some cute styles at Payless lately.
The thing for me is I get myself too many clothes. I buy clothes, and 6 months later I hate them, or I'm a different size. I did just go to Dillards and get sized. They size you so much better than Victorias secret! Much more thourough. I shouldn't tell you how much I spent on a bra though. It was much more than I had planned.

Katie said...

I went to Dillard's too! Was it Dillard's? Yeah, I think it was. I went there based on Jessica at's recommendation. They had no nursing bras, but they got me sized -- 32F. So I bought a nursing bra in 32F. I had to do it up on the tightest hook right from the get-go, and within a week or two it was too loose. So I guess that means I need a 30G. Yeah. And even Dillard's doesn't carry THAT freakish of a size!

Good news about the makeup -- Jenny says she has billions of colors, and she'll bring all of hers. Her coloring isn't very close to mine, but now she has so many makeup colors that there will be something I can use!