Sunday, September 13, 2009

I am not cut out for this!

I am SO not cut out to be a single mom, especially a single working mom. I finally decided that this is because I am very bad at multi-tasking. When I'm working on something and I get a phone call or any distraction at all, it takes me 10 minutes to get back into what I was working on. This works the same way at home. I'll start cooking dinner, and 2 hours later I wonder what on earth could possibly be taking so long. I just can't cook, monitor the kids, and clean up the messes they're making all at the same time. Every time I try to do anything around the house, I fall farther behind because of the messes the kids make while I'm cleaning something else. Baby can absolutely destroy an entire room while I'm engrossed in doing the dishes, and I don't even notice, even if he's doing it right in the next room.

Today my parents came to our ward for the Primary program. They came over after church for a little while. I got SO MUCH DONE while they were here! I cleaned the kitchen (a bit), made dinner, cleaned up (a bit), and got another batch of strawberries ready for freezing. Reading through, that really doesn't sound like much, but it was so easy and effortless. Usually when I'm trying to do these things, it's like swimming through mud.

Contrast that with this morning. While I was ironing, Baby broke into the kitchen and got a bowl full of cereal and milk and proceeded to distribute it randomly throughout the apartment. Then, I had the audacity to take a shower. While I did that, he broke into the kitchen (again; the older kids left the gate open both times) and proceeded to fling a pound of strawberries all over the place. That's fun if I miss one and then find it a week later only because the swarm of fruit flies leads me to it.

I've thought of doing all the housework after the kids are in bed, but I hate that idea. I don't want my kids to be the ones whose mom does everything for them. I love the idea of Family Work, where the whole family works together to do everything. I may have to put that off for another couple of years though - at least until Baby is old enough to not make worse messes while the rest of us clean. Or, we can do tasks where I can stay right by them, and I'll save the more intense cleaning for after they're asleep.

I know I can make changes and get on top of things. In my past life, I have always been able to do hard things and meet challenges. Somewhere along the way I forgot that I had that capability, but I remember now, and I can meet this challenge!


I am getting extremely bored with the outfit of the day. This is why fashion will never be my forté -- I just don't have much of an interest! Anyway, this is what I wore today:

The skirt was given to me by my sister in 1999. I always leave my hair until last, which usually means a dowdy librarian bun. I did paste down my flyaway hair after taking the picture though. I have to wear nursing-accessible clothes to church and it is getting REALLY OLD. I would love to just be able to wear a regular dress. Sometimes I wear one anyway, and it's a great excuse -- whoops! I can't nurse in this dress! Guess we'll have to sit (sleep) in the Mother's Room during Sacrament!


Anonymous said...

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Marly said...

Find a chore you want the kids to learn to do, and do that with them. That way you aren't trying to clean everything at the same time and you still teach them. I'm a horrible homemaker but I'm a work in progress.
I have also realized when my husband isn't around and I know I have to take care of everything, I can. But, I recommend if you do have someone who could come over once or twice a week, you could get a lot done. Ask for help when you need it. I know people are more than willing.

Katie said...

"I have also realized when my husband isn't around and I know I have to take care of everything, I can."

I have also noticed this. There is a HUGE difference already. There will be a much bigger difference after I sell/declutter a bunch of stuff. Put I'm keeping the power drill, oh yeah!

I like the idea of just doing one thing at a time. I am a perfectionist and tend to see things in terms of all or nothing.

Katie said...

BUT I'm keeping the power drill; not 'put'. :-P

alisaterry said...

Aren't you already being a single mom? Aren't you already used to this? You are absolutely cut out for this, and better prepared than most mothers who suddenly find themselves parenting alone. you are already strong and already capable.

Katie said...

Yes, I am doing it, and I have done it before :-) Mentally it's different, of course.

I am far better prepared than most divorcing moms and I am SO grateful for that. My patriarchal blessing has a line about providing for my family. I have always H A T E D that it was in there, but it was another source of encouragement to help me decide to finish school. And thank goodness for that!!